I spent decades building a career as a behavior change expert, conducting research as a Visiting Scholar at UC Berkeley, and consulting for organizations like Google and the UN. 
 

But my body was rebelling.

 

I was winded walking two blocks to the park with my kids. I had a frozen shoulder that made it hard for me to put on a bra, let alone do yoga.

I felt like I was living a double life: an elite behaviorial strategist on stage, completely powerless over my own habits backstage.

After doing a struggle-shimmy dance to get into my bra, I gave a talk at the Haas Business School Leadership Conference that brought the house down for a standing-room only audience in the school's biggest auditorium.

 

When a colleague sent me photos of the talk, I didn't see an accomplished scholar. I saw a woman who was brilliantly designing change for global institutions while completely abandoning her own body.

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The picture showed me something I'd been hiding from for a long time - the trade-offs and costs of late nights, constant stress, and workouts I never got to.